A Boy That Trys Way To Hard

So, Recently, I've been realizing to myself, That I'm trying to hard to get a girl. What I should be doing is basically wait for them to chase you. But I guess I really do want someone to hold, to kiss, to enjoy living with or a period of time. And knowing all my life that I have the balls to reach out to a girl and pull her in. Well lets talk about the younger days. I was really never complimented about how I dressed, new Look, New me each year. I started off with no life, nerd status to the fullest. Never bothered with girls, The frathest was really a crush, never intended to find a right girl for me. Until this year. 1st-6th grade, I caed less about girls, it was basically, " Oh you like me? Wanna go out" And nothing else. Did'nt chill at school, did'nt do anything afteschool. Rathe just ignore each other more than we already have beore even starting it off as friends. Haha! Wow. Ten startin of 7th grade was the grade where I was new to the word "STYLE". Thats when I stated wearing Aero clothing, with Marshall's and stuff. Until 8th grade, where I admit I was a follower. I was following my friend who is now a pothead's style. "White T, Shorts, Nikes." That was my style everyday for months. 8th grade was where I noticed I was never liked by a girl, only as friends. I never was complimented to be cute. While my bestfiend AJ, was the one getting all the compliments. I considered myself Ugly.

I degraded myself so much I really did'nt care anymore. I really cared what people thought about me at the time. Espically the girls. Questions like, Am I Cute? Am I a good Boyfriend? How do I kiss on my first kiss? And like I never really thought about it like I do now. " It'll happen on the way to a happy life" And yes it has happened now. People have called me cute, had my first kiss, had relationships with girls. But I neer a steady relationship. I know its not me, its just how the vibe was with both people in a relationship. But, now I'm trying to find that one right person. I feel so emotional when it comes to the topics , "Love, and Girls" I've given so much advice that seems to work with the person in need. But question myself, Why aren't I doing what I told people to do which seems to work? I do the exact opposite, Rather being chased. I'm the chasing. Heres what I really want in a girl. I want a girl whos Loyal, who does'nt leech for money, clothes, basically just using me. I want an Independent woman. I want a girl who is there when I'm down, Who won't be embarrased when I'm doing the most embarriassing thing. A girl who loves me for who I am, and who I'm not. I honestly changed for girls back then. Now that I've leaned from that mistake, I always wanted a girl who likes me for me, and won't make me change because she loves who I am, and won't have me changed. I want a great connection with her, truthful. Someone I can finally call Baby. It's a lot I know, But I ave the guts to put up a fight this special girl one day. In the makng, Cupid is helping me decide which one to wait on, and which one to let go I'm proud of myself for thinking about waiting it out rather then moving to fast.

I talked to bestfriend about this problem, and she said I was just to nice. I should'nt be the one chasing, Yet be the one being chased. I agree with her 100% because, all my life I'm the one chasing and making the girls run away from me. Its like Tom and Jerry, Tom is the one chasing Jerry, and Jerry is always the one who runs and hides. So basically Im scaing them away. I'm not a scary guy really, Nice Sentimental, Trustful. All these people tell me, " Oh shes just missing out on a great guy like you." But how do you know I'm such a great guy when I don't even know I'm great enough. What I say, I give myself time to prepare for. Yet I don't know what will happen. Words are just something to back up whats really going to happen sooner or later. Soo, I thank bestfriend for talking and teaching me the truth about girls. I love you Bestfriend for eveything.

Well, Good Night everyone, thanks for reading.

-Bryan Mai.