A Boy That Trys Way To Hard

So, Recently, I've been realizing to myself, That I'm trying to hard to get a girl. What I should be doing is basically wait for them to chase you. But I guess I really do want someone to hold, to kiss, to enjoy living with or a period of time. And knowing all my life that I have the balls to reach out to a girl and pull her in. Well lets talk about the younger days. I was really never complimented about how I dressed, new Look, New me each year. I started off with no life, nerd status to the fullest. Never bothered with girls, The frathest was really a crush, never intended to find a right girl for me. Until this year. 1st-6th grade, I caed less about girls, it was basically, " Oh you like me? Wanna go out" And nothing else. Did'nt chill at school, did'nt do anything afteschool. Rathe just ignore each other more than we already have beore even starting it off as friends. Haha! Wow. Ten startin of 7th grade was the grade where I was new to the word "STYLE". Thats when I stated wearing Aero clothing, with Marshall's and stuff. Until 8th grade, where I admit I was a follower. I was following my friend who is now a pothead's style. "White T, Shorts, Nikes." That was my style everyday for months. 8th grade was where I noticed I was never liked by a girl, only as friends. I never was complimented to be cute. While my bestfiend AJ, was the one getting all the compliments. I considered myself Ugly.

I degraded myself so much I really did'nt care anymore. I really cared what people thought about me at the time. Espically the girls. Questions like, Am I Cute? Am I a good Boyfriend? How do I kiss on my first kiss? And like I never really thought about it like I do now. " It'll happen on the way to a happy life" And yes it has happened now. People have called me cute, had my first kiss, had relationships with girls. But I neer a steady relationship. I know its not me, its just how the vibe was with both people in a relationship. But, now I'm trying to find that one right person. I feel so emotional when it comes to the topics , "Love, and Girls" I've given so much advice that seems to work with the person in need. But question myself, Why aren't I doing what I told people to do which seems to work? I do the exact opposite, Rather being chased. I'm the chasing. Heres what I really want in a girl. I want a girl whos Loyal, who does'nt leech for money, clothes, basically just using me. I want an Independent woman. I want a girl who is there when I'm down, Who won't be embarrased when I'm doing the most embarriassing thing. A girl who loves me for who I am, and who I'm not. I honestly changed for girls back then. Now that I've leaned from that mistake, I always wanted a girl who likes me for me, and won't make me change because she loves who I am, and won't have me changed. I want a great connection with her, truthful. Someone I can finally call Baby. It's a lot I know, But I ave the guts to put up a fight this special girl one day. In the makng, Cupid is helping me decide which one to wait on, and which one to let go I'm proud of myself for thinking about waiting it out rather then moving to fast.

I talked to bestfriend about this problem, and she said I was just to nice. I should'nt be the one chasing, Yet be the one being chased. I agree with her 100% because, all my life I'm the one chasing and making the girls run away from me. Its like Tom and Jerry, Tom is the one chasing Jerry, and Jerry is always the one who runs and hides. So basically Im scaing them away. I'm not a scary guy really, Nice Sentimental, Trustful. All these people tell me, " Oh shes just missing out on a great guy like you." But how do you know I'm such a great guy when I don't even know I'm great enough. What I say, I give myself time to prepare for. Yet I don't know what will happen. Words are just something to back up whats really going to happen sooner or later. Soo, I thank bestfriend for talking and teaching me the truth about girls. I love you Bestfriend for eveything.

Well, Good Night everyone, thanks for reading.

-Bryan Mai.

Dear Cupid.

I've been trying to communicate with cupid these last few days. Truthfully, I'm confused with my life. Its hard choosing over one another. Anyways tonight, I was going to acutually write a letter to cupid. Oh and for anyone who oes not know who cupid is. Cupid is The love maker.

Dear Cupid,

My name is Bryan Mai. I've been living life for fifteen years. And I've grew into a guy who is happy with his life. But just one thing is missing. There is'nt a girl in my life just at this moment. I mean people say, you don't need to have a girl in your life to be happy. Well of course you don't need a girl, but it seems like its a empty spot in my heart needing to be filled in.I never really been in a serious relationship, so I thought I woul try it out since, its something new. I want someone who would'nt just come and go. Not like that, Someone who is willing to take my Bullshit when I'm mad. Someone who would'nt leave me because theres something she does'nt like about me. Mainly someone whos trust worthy, and ready to live around me. I don't want a gold digger, I dont want a player, I don't want a wannabe, I want a love one.

Cupid, I am stuck in this position where I don't know what to do nor do I have the guts to move forward. I'm stressing ove the fact theres feelings for a girl who does'nt pay attention to me, and takes me for granted. And Im feeeling a small crush for who I enjoy talking most of my time. Complicated I know. But I think this is what I get for going on my own without your help. I don't regret any of it, because I now know It is hard going on it alone. So I want to le you know that I really need your help for advice and helping me move forward. Please do me a hug favor and use your bow and arrow and shoot one at the right girl for me. Thank You.


Anyways, Today was an alright day, school ended early today. So I decided to take my bro's Christian and Aaron to visit Bestfriend Monalisa. I've missed her so much, and it was a pefect sight when I acutlly saw her. of course there were haters already. But who honestly cares. I met bestfriend's boyfriend. I don't think he was in the mood to talk or he just had to leave with a irritated face. Oh wells. I don't break promises. So just deal with the fact that I care for my bestfriend so much, I would take my spare time to visit her right afterschool. After visiting her, we walked all the way to Jack in the Box to kicket with some other fiends. Ended up eating eight tacos. Pretty good aha. And yeahhh. Went home for awhile then off to Kimball orientation. Orientation was quite boring yet fun to see some faces I wanted to seee. Went home called it a day and layed in bed.

Also made up with bestfriend Abby. I'm honestly glad you've taken a step in moving forward yet fixing things as you go. Thanks for listening Abby. I miss and love you.
Good Night everyone, and dear Cupid.

-Bryan Mai.